I've used to draw for fun. I just enjoyed creating random stuff. Sooner, I've been filled with negativity & became afraid & unmotivated.

I used to not care about someone having the same idea because to me, if that happened, it would be so cool. Now I just fear because whatever I think of stuff I just feel demotivated like someone or something already thought of that past, present, future, thoese that had it but never seen by anyone, ect...

Sometimes, I create stuff out of thin air. I'm aware you already know that ideas can be made by anything, the textures of anything, the particles, the grassy field & extra more with the wind blowing on the grass, the clouds, anything really even the same spot can have many stuff to create.

Examples:

You already got an idea that these few aren't like the whole span of the many possible ideas.

Even when I'm filled with negativity, there is something that always holds me by a thread... the one that likes creating stuff for fun, acceptance, and comfort... a part of me that I feel like it's wasted on me & should've chosen someone else than me... yet still hold on to me...

I distracted myself to avoid the negativity... soon, I avoid social media because it is getting worse, & mostly subject myself to certain things that aren't giving off negative vibes then... the mind... looking back, my was was mature... well, not me. I fell back when I pushed back myself.

I've let myself be consumed by fear & etc...

This was an unorganized mess. And this is nothing. So, no worries. I'm just expressing myself... can be a nightmare to deal with, hence why it's a hazardous place. I overthink many things... hopefully, the title isn't... nah, you know curiosity made the cat go into a deep slumber... but by now, you've already gotten curious... man, why did you put the cat to sleep. Honestly, I'm unsure this is dark. However, I like to make it positive, just I feel it's needed & also not to make people worried about me. That's life. The amalgamation of many things. I know nothing, that's pretty much, is it.

Enjoy your life however you can. You didn't need to waste your time here. But it's rude of me to try to invalidate your empathy towards me. So thanks for reading. And treat yourself like a caring friend when things get rough to handle.